The one thing that I am absolutely terrified of is the question "Mama, can I go to so and so's house for a sleep over?"
Sleepover was something I never had to worry about when I was living in Malaysia. we never had a sleep over in Malaysia..
Basically there are two things that concerned me.
1. I don't trust others when it came to the safety and welfare of my kids.
2. Using TP.
Toothless had the first invitation for a sleepover party when he was in Kindergarten. There was no way I was going to let my 6 year old son stay overnight at a strangers house. So I let him go to the party and picked him up at 7.30 pm. He wasn't very pleased., I didn't expect him to be.
Then Yaya was invited to her best friend's house for a sleep over and I felt my world was about to fall apart. I tried to find any reason, any reason at all to prevent her from going, but there was nothing.
Her best friend's mother is my friend and I knew the family well enough. I felt I was trapped. I didn't want her to spend the night in someone else's house because I was worried about her safety even though I knew my friend wouldn't harm my daughter in any way.
What was I going to tell my friend? that I don't trust her to take good care of my daughter?
I spend the next few days talking to my daughter about being safe. What is appropriate and what is not appropriate. I told her she can call me any time of the day if she was not happy at her friend's place and I will come and pick her up.
I wrote her care card number and all the emergency phone number in a card and gave to her.
I bought her a box of flushable wipes.
Yaya couldn't wait to go to her friend's house and shooed me away when I tried to linger on.
Then I spend all night trying to keep awake, so in the event my daughter called, I won't miss hearing the phone ring..
It was mentally exhausting and I wanted to kill the person who invented sleep over.
Then I had a Eureka moment.
Instead of my child going to someone else's house, why not invite them to my house?
We have regular sleep over party at our house now.
I usually have it on Friday.
Friday is usually "any time O'clock" at home. ie the kids can go to bed at any time they wish to. (Sunday to Thursday they go to bed at 9PM).
So I don't have any issues when the kids don't go to bed on time on Friday. I usually buy pizza and bake muffins and make some salad. Then we rent a "surprise" movie( Surprise for the kids because the movie probably was released before they were born and a big deal for me as I don't have to pay an arm and a leg to rent it) and I make some popcorn and let the kids watch the movie.
Last Friday we had seven kids for sleep over. It was fun.
They watched Chicken little. They had fun and I had peace of mind.
tp: toilet paper
October 18, 2009
October 12, 2009
It feels like I have just walked in to a different world and I am petrified. It feels like a nightmare, but I am very much awake..
First of all we have the constant tears to deal with. This morning it was the hair. Yaya simply hates her hair. According to her, she has the worst hair on earth. This morning she wanted to tie her hair in to a pony tail and it simply didn't come out right.
The tears were just rolling down her cheeks and my heart was breaking.
I knew there was no point in me telling her that she actually has gorgeous hair with natural brown to copper colour highlights.
If I tell her that she has lovely hair, she will reply that "You are my mother, you are supposed to say that"
If I keep quiet, she will say that " See, even you agree that I have the worst hair on planet earth"
So I stood there like the "inji (or was that andi?) kadicha annan.. Which obviously made Yaya even more mad and her rants progressed to "You are the worst mother on planet earth, You don't understand anything, I HATE YOU"
Which made the in house police man( AKA toothless dragon) mad and he started to tell his oldest sister how to behave!
Which progressed to heated discussion about constitutional rights! and ended with territorial disputes and slamming of the door.
I kept chanting, 'this too shall pass' over and over in my head.. But the thought that I will be going through this for another decade has seriously dented my confidence.
Then my younger one wanted me to listen to her favourite song on You tube and after listening to the lyrics, All I wanted was to cry.
My 7 yr old is listening to this song. I am sure( rather, I hope) she doesn't understand the lyrics. I honestly want to smack Lilly Allen.
I am in a catch 22. If I tell my daughter not to listen to the song, she will be curious to know what was in the song that ticked me off. So not much of use telling her not to listen.
But the Mallu in me can't stomach such sexual overtures in a song, especially when it concerns a 7 yr old.
The mallu mother in me want to protect my children from the big bad wolf. But short of going to the moon , there isn't much I can do.. and I am still standing here like the inji ( andi) kadicha annan.
First of all we have the constant tears to deal with. This morning it was the hair. Yaya simply hates her hair. According to her, she has the worst hair on earth. This morning she wanted to tie her hair in to a pony tail and it simply didn't come out right.
The tears were just rolling down her cheeks and my heart was breaking.
I knew there was no point in me telling her that she actually has gorgeous hair with natural brown to copper colour highlights.
If I tell her that she has lovely hair, she will reply that "You are my mother, you are supposed to say that"
If I keep quiet, she will say that " See, even you agree that I have the worst hair on planet earth"
So I stood there like the "inji (or was that andi?) kadicha annan.. Which obviously made Yaya even more mad and her rants progressed to "You are the worst mother on planet earth, You don't understand anything, I HATE YOU"
Which made the in house police man( AKA toothless dragon) mad and he started to tell his oldest sister how to behave!
Which progressed to heated discussion about constitutional rights! and ended with territorial disputes and slamming of the door.
I kept chanting, 'this too shall pass' over and over in my head.. But the thought that I will be going through this for another decade has seriously dented my confidence.
Then my younger one wanted me to listen to her favourite song on You tube and after listening to the lyrics, All I wanted was to cry.
My 7 yr old is listening to this song. I am sure( rather, I hope) she doesn't understand the lyrics. I honestly want to smack Lilly Allen.
I am in a catch 22. If I tell my daughter not to listen to the song, she will be curious to know what was in the song that ticked me off. So not much of use telling her not to listen.
But the Mallu in me can't stomach such sexual overtures in a song, especially when it concerns a 7 yr old.
The mallu mother in me want to protect my children from the big bad wolf. But short of going to the moon , there isn't much I can do.. and I am still standing here like the inji ( andi) kadicha annan.
October 1, 2009
I know it is been a long time since I updated the blog. Thank you all for your mails and comments.
My life is totally turned upside down..( Which is nothing new)
First of all, my stuff is still with the shippers in Vancouver. The wonderful shipping agent told me that it will take 6 to 8 weeks for my stuff to arrive in Australia.. I being the first class idiot, fell for her charms hook, line and sinker. What the agent conveniently forgot to tell me was that the 6 to 8 weeks is from when the ship actually sails!
So now I make idli's in an egg poacher and roll rotis using wine bottle..( And of course wine being cheaper, I buy a new bottle every time we have roti for dinner.. There is no fun using the same bottle, right?)
Apart from an elderly cousin, I don't have any relatives nearby and my cousin has gone to India for her annual visit. Amma and my sisters live almost 2000 KM away! So no point asking them for help. ( Don't forget, My ego is bigger than Titanic, So I wouldn't ask for help)
If it wasn't for freecycle ( freecycle.org) I would have been bald by now ! ( plates, egg poacher etc etc were all picked up from the local freecycle.)
Then the kids.. all of a sudden they grew up.. I don't know how to explain. They were little babies, who still believed in Santa when I left Vancouver.. in a span of 8 weeks everything changed.
Yaya came back from her school camp few weeks ago and was sitting across me drinking milo and updating me about all the things she did at the camp. Then out of the blue she asked me, what age would I think she can go out for a date!( I am sure the girls in her class was discussing about boys and dating..
Bloody hell.. Mothers should be given some sort of warning before a question like that are asked!
Now, I am not a traditional mother who thinks it is blasphemous to date. I also remember all my crushes..But still, I honestly wasn't prepared for that question.. What do I tell her? That 11 is too early? But I knew if I had told her that, then I was just giving more fuel to the teenage rebellion she is storing to unleash on me the next few years.. So I did what I thought would be the best. I told her
"Baby, I can't tell you when you should start dating. That is such a PERSONAL ( very powerful word for a pre teen) decision. You will know when you are ready and once you think you are ready, come and talk to me and we will see what we can do"
She was pleased with my reply.
I felt good after telling her that.. but now I dread that any of these days she will come and tell me that she is ready to start dating...
Yaya and toothless went for a school disco.. and 3 girls requested toothless to dance with him. His sisters and I have tons of fun teasing him.. but in my heart I know he is growing..I know I have to let go..but I am not ready.. I wish I can wave a magic wand and pause my life.
Then Patrick Swayze died..I watched the movie dirty dancing in 1988.. I had such a huge crush on Swayze.. I dreamed of dancing like him..for him.. with him..( you get the drift No? Ah those teenage days!)
Then we had the mother of all dust storm..It took me days to clean up..
I read a lot of books by Aussie authors..
But the book I absolutely enjoyed was the housekeeper and the professor by Yoko Ogawa.. ( it was nice to know that I am not the only one who like to spell words backwards!)
So that is all for now..
My life is totally turned upside down..( Which is nothing new)
First of all, my stuff is still with the shippers in Vancouver. The wonderful shipping agent told me that it will take 6 to 8 weeks for my stuff to arrive in Australia.. I being the first class idiot, fell for her charms hook, line and sinker. What the agent conveniently forgot to tell me was that the 6 to 8 weeks is from when the ship actually sails!
So now I make idli's in an egg poacher and roll rotis using wine bottle..( And of course wine being cheaper, I buy a new bottle every time we have roti for dinner.. There is no fun using the same bottle, right?)
Apart from an elderly cousin, I don't have any relatives nearby and my cousin has gone to India for her annual visit. Amma and my sisters live almost 2000 KM away! So no point asking them for help. ( Don't forget, My ego is bigger than Titanic, So I wouldn't ask for help)
If it wasn't for freecycle ( freecycle.org) I would have been bald by now ! ( plates, egg poacher etc etc were all picked up from the local freecycle.)
Then the kids.. all of a sudden they grew up.. I don't know how to explain. They were little babies, who still believed in Santa when I left Vancouver.. in a span of 8 weeks everything changed.
Yaya came back from her school camp few weeks ago and was sitting across me drinking milo and updating me about all the things she did at the camp. Then out of the blue she asked me, what age would I think she can go out for a date!( I am sure the girls in her class was discussing about boys and dating..
Bloody hell.. Mothers should be given some sort of warning before a question like that are asked!
Now, I am not a traditional mother who thinks it is blasphemous to date. I also remember all my crushes..But still, I honestly wasn't prepared for that question.. What do I tell her? That 11 is too early? But I knew if I had told her that, then I was just giving more fuel to the teenage rebellion she is storing to unleash on me the next few years.. So I did what I thought would be the best. I told her
"Baby, I can't tell you when you should start dating. That is such a PERSONAL ( very powerful word for a pre teen) decision. You will know when you are ready and once you think you are ready, come and talk to me and we will see what we can do"
She was pleased with my reply.
I felt good after telling her that.. but now I dread that any of these days she will come and tell me that she is ready to start dating...
Yaya and toothless went for a school disco.. and 3 girls requested toothless to dance with him. His sisters and I have tons of fun teasing him.. but in my heart I know he is growing..I know I have to let go..but I am not ready.. I wish I can wave a magic wand and pause my life.
Then Patrick Swayze died..I watched the movie dirty dancing in 1988.. I had such a huge crush on Swayze.. I dreamed of dancing like him..for him.. with him..( you get the drift No? Ah those teenage days!)
Then we had the mother of all dust storm..It took me days to clean up..
I read a lot of books by Aussie authors..
But the book I absolutely enjoyed was the housekeeper and the professor by Yoko Ogawa.. ( it was nice to know that I am not the only one who like to spell words backwards!)
So that is all for now..
August 6, 2009
She and I, we were enemies.
She had everything I always wanted. Her parents were together, she had two older brothers and being the only daughter, she was pampered by everyone, even my grandmother! ( Maternal) As a child I never understood why my grandmother loved her more and not me.
We were girls, so why was she more cherished?
She hated me because my dad travelled to other countries and we always had foreign stuff. She hated me because I was good in my studies. She hated me because I had three sisters. She always wanted sisters! ( I never knew why and I had offered/requested/begged/cajoled her to take my sisters, but she wanted her own sisters!)
To make my life more miserable, she was the epitome of an Indian daughter. Very respectful of her elders, went to church, Started taking all the noimbu (fast) when she was 6 or 7 and could even stitch her own school uniform by the time she was 10.
Not enough, she had the hair clips my mother bought for her when she was about 7 years old till she went to University( perhaps for all I know she might even have it now) and I, lost the yellow colour sketch pen that was part of the 12 on the first day my mother bought it for me and went through tons of hair clips, erasers, etc etc.
You can only imagine my life being compared to her at every turn and how much I hated her.
Then again life has so much of twists and turns. She didn't complete her studies, got married to a guy who squandered the family fortune, had a daughter, went back to her family home twice and was send back to her husband both times by her loving brothers and yesterday I was told that her family is so broke that they have no money for food.
Gibran's writing about giving keeps coming to my mind.
A part of me thinks, she isn't my responsibility. She has two brothers and umpteen number of cousins. I have just moved in to a new country, I have so much of expenses..
But someone not having food...Why is life so hard
She had everything I always wanted. Her parents were together, she had two older brothers and being the only daughter, she was pampered by everyone, even my grandmother! ( Maternal) As a child I never understood why my grandmother loved her more and not me.
We were girls, so why was she more cherished?
She hated me because my dad travelled to other countries and we always had foreign stuff. She hated me because I was good in my studies. She hated me because I had three sisters. She always wanted sisters! ( I never knew why and I had offered/requested/begged/cajoled her to take my sisters, but she wanted her own sisters!)
To make my life more miserable, she was the epitome of an Indian daughter. Very respectful of her elders, went to church, Started taking all the noimbu (fast) when she was 6 or 7 and could even stitch her own school uniform by the time she was 10.
Not enough, she had the hair clips my mother bought for her when she was about 7 years old till she went to University( perhaps for all I know she might even have it now) and I, lost the yellow colour sketch pen that was part of the 12 on the first day my mother bought it for me and went through tons of hair clips, erasers, etc etc.
You can only imagine my life being compared to her at every turn and how much I hated her.
Then again life has so much of twists and turns. She didn't complete her studies, got married to a guy who squandered the family fortune, had a daughter, went back to her family home twice and was send back to her husband both times by her loving brothers and yesterday I was told that her family is so broke that they have no money for food.
Gibran's writing about giving keeps coming to my mind.
A part of me thinks, she isn't my responsibility. She has two brothers and umpteen number of cousins. I have just moved in to a new country, I have so much of expenses..
But someone not having food...Why is life so hard
July 30, 2009
Recap of first week..
Kids settled well at school..
Yaya is going on a school camp for 5 days !!!!
I absolutely hate when I have to send my child away to any place for more than 6 hours. I know I can't keep them under my wings forever.. still I wish time would go a little slow..
Toothless got a wonderful teacher..This morning he has gone to attend some environmental conference at the University.. He is on cloud 9.
Baby is thrilled because she is one of the tallest in her class.. ( more so because she was the shortest in her class in Canada !!!)..
Schooling is ( though it is a public school) is expensive.. I wish Mr. Paul Young will move to Down under.. ( He is a school trustee from Victoria who went to court so every child in British Columbia can have 'free' education..Because of him I never had to pay anything.. be it school trip or text books)
So far I had to pay an arm and leg for uniforms, books, photostat fees and even a voluntary contribution of 100$/family..
I seem to be the reason why many of my neighbors currently take Prozac.. They just can't figure out why I drive my car straight on to the oncoming traffic..Not enough, I also keep switching on the wiper instead of the signal !!! ( I hate when I do that)
Also the fact the car I am driving is my cousin's old beat up Corolla that was born in 1985, sans power steering is not helping either.
The school is almost 30 minutes brisk walk from home and we leave home at 8.15 so in the event the car doesn't start( which is very often) we can still walk to school and won't be late.
Food is expensive.. choices are poor..
The first thing my son noticed was that there are no proper wieners( my son is an ardent hot dog fan and he is heart broken after seeing the wieners here).
I miss my usual Friday morning drive to Bellingham (US) to buy groceries and odds and ends from Fred Mayers and ROSS.
We still haven't got a library card..first of all the libraries have so little books and the selection is appalling..The nearest library for me is 2 bus zones away and the hours of operation is pathetic. The librarian was very kind to let me know that they need an official letter in my name to prove my proof of residence!!!! to open an account! And they let you borrow only 20 books ( 35 in Canada which they used to override for my kids)
There are so many beautiful birds around where I stay.. I don't know the name of any.. Have (been wanting to buy a book about Australian birds.. for that I need to go to town (68 km away!!!)..Can't think of taking my old car that far and then having to walk back home...
Every time when I see the beautiful blue sky, I think of the miserable winter we have in Canada.. the grey skies, the frozen car windows etc etc.. Then I ask myself, would I want to settle down here?? Then I tell myself.. I still have Venezuela ( south America) and Botswana( Africa) to go to.. ( then I would have stayed a year in all the continents!!)..Then I shall look for my Shangrila!!! !!!!!
Kids settled well at school..
Yaya is going on a school camp for 5 days !!!!
I absolutely hate when I have to send my child away to any place for more than 6 hours. I know I can't keep them under my wings forever.. still I wish time would go a little slow..
Toothless got a wonderful teacher..This morning he has gone to attend some environmental conference at the University.. He is on cloud 9.
Baby is thrilled because she is one of the tallest in her class.. ( more so because she was the shortest in her class in Canada !!!)..
Schooling is ( though it is a public school) is expensive.. I wish Mr. Paul Young will move to Down under.. ( He is a school trustee from Victoria who went to court so every child in British Columbia can have 'free' education..Because of him I never had to pay anything.. be it school trip or text books)
So far I had to pay an arm and leg for uniforms, books, photostat fees and even a voluntary contribution of 100$/family..
I seem to be the reason why many of my neighbors currently take Prozac.. They just can't figure out why I drive my car straight on to the oncoming traffic..Not enough, I also keep switching on the wiper instead of the signal !!! ( I hate when I do that)
Also the fact the car I am driving is my cousin's old beat up Corolla that was born in 1985, sans power steering is not helping either.
The school is almost 30 minutes brisk walk from home and we leave home at 8.15 so in the event the car doesn't start( which is very often) we can still walk to school and won't be late.
Food is expensive.. choices are poor..
The first thing my son noticed was that there are no proper wieners( my son is an ardent hot dog fan and he is heart broken after seeing the wieners here).
I miss my usual Friday morning drive to Bellingham (US) to buy groceries and odds and ends from Fred Mayers and ROSS.
We still haven't got a library card..first of all the libraries have so little books and the selection is appalling..The nearest library for me is 2 bus zones away and the hours of operation is pathetic. The librarian was very kind to let me know that they need an official letter in my name to prove my proof of residence!!!! to open an account! And they let you borrow only 20 books ( 35 in Canada which they used to override for my kids)
There are so many beautiful birds around where I stay.. I don't know the name of any.. Have (been wanting to buy a book about Australian birds.. for that I need to go to town (68 km away!!!)..Can't think of taking my old car that far and then having to walk back home...
Every time when I see the beautiful blue sky, I think of the miserable winter we have in Canada.. the grey skies, the frozen car windows etc etc.. Then I ask myself, would I want to settle down here?? Then I tell myself.. I still have Venezuela ( south America) and Botswana( Africa) to go to.. ( then I would have stayed a year in all the continents!!)..Then I shall look for my Shangrila!!! !!!!!
July 23, 2009
In Australia !!!
I came prepared for weathering the Australian winter.. I even packed extra pairs of gloves for each of my children. ( Just in case they misplaced their gloves !! I didn't want to go through the hassle of finding a shop to buy new pairs of gloves. I really didn't want them to get frost bite)
When I landed in Sydney, the weather outside was 24 degrees! and my children were wearing two pairs of jackets and everyone was staring at 'this' group of weirdos..
oh before I forget, except the number 24, I didn't understand a word the pilot spoke prior to landing for the matter even prior to take off.. He sounded like he had a mouthful of boiled tapioca in his mouth.
As we came out of the airport, I noticed that there are too many trees and all had leaves on them..and this is supposed to be WINTER!!!! I didn't find a single tree that didn't have any leaves.. There is something about trees without leaves.. it teaches you about cycles of life..
We went for a stroll in the Bondi beach and I learned that it is pronounced the way it is spelt..(Not bondee as I thought but bondii.
Kids will start schooling on Monday..I am preparing for the mutiny on Monday when they learn that they have to wear uniform to school.
So far, I am finding it extremely difficult to cope with the following..
Internet connection is very very very slow and I pay more than what I paid in Canada.
Almost all shop closes at 5.30 in the evening.
Wines are too cheap !!!! and I am too tempted!!!!
Very few East Indians especially Punjabis around.. I see more Caucasians every day!!
I wake up at 4 every morning.. (Nalla kalathu naalu mani kandittilla. )
I have no clue why I get up at that time.. It is a pretty weird jet lag
I haven't found a thrift shop where I can buy books.
With all of those difficulties mentioned above comes the silver lining.. Absolutely Beautiful blue sky!!!
Now I shall go and fry some chooks for dinner.
When I landed in Sydney, the weather outside was 24 degrees! and my children were wearing two pairs of jackets and everyone was staring at 'this' group of weirdos..
oh before I forget, except the number 24, I didn't understand a word the pilot spoke prior to landing for the matter even prior to take off.. He sounded like he had a mouthful of boiled tapioca in his mouth.
As we came out of the airport, I noticed that there are too many trees and all had leaves on them..and this is supposed to be WINTER!!!! I didn't find a single tree that didn't have any leaves.. There is something about trees without leaves.. it teaches you about cycles of life..
We went for a stroll in the Bondi beach and I learned that it is pronounced the way it is spelt..(Not bondee as I thought but bondii.
Kids will start schooling on Monday..I am preparing for the mutiny on Monday when they learn that they have to wear uniform to school.
So far, I am finding it extremely difficult to cope with the following..
Internet connection is very very very slow and I pay more than what I paid in Canada.
Almost all shop closes at 5.30 in the evening.
Wines are too cheap !!!! and I am too tempted!!!!
Very few East Indians especially Punjabis around.. I see more Caucasians every day!!
I wake up at 4 every morning.. (Nalla kalathu naalu mani kandittilla. )
I have no clue why I get up at that time.. It is a pretty weird jet lag
I haven't found a thrift shop where I can buy books.
With all of those difficulties mentioned above comes the silver lining.. Absolutely Beautiful blue sky!!!
Now I shall go and fry some chooks for dinner.
July 14, 2009
Finally
Packing is done..
Movers have come and gone..
Have said the good byes to most of my friends..
Have done the camping trip with the kids..
Tomorrow I am leaving Canada...
I never, never, never thought I would ever say this (Yeah, I know 'you' always told me never to say never).. but I really don't want to leave Canada..
May be I will come back!!!
Here is a toast to New country, new home, new school, new life...and old me.
Sarah
Movers have come and gone..
Have said the good byes to most of my friends..
Have done the camping trip with the kids..
Tomorrow I am leaving Canada...
I never, never, never thought I would ever say this (Yeah, I know 'you' always told me never to say never).. but I really don't want to leave Canada..
May be I will come back!!!
Here is a toast to New country, new home, new school, new life...and old me.
Sarah
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